CANCER SURVIVOR-5

MS. SHIVANI

Life is so unpredictable and I realised this when I was enjoying the best of the weather in Queen of mountains  and hilly areas ‘Shimla’ and that too while trying a new sexy dress I just bought. The dress was little revealing so had to be fixed from chest area. I never knew fixing up the dress will help me feel the lump in my right breast and hence the life threatening disease cancer. I didn’t mean to give it a scaring effect by calling it as a life threatening disease but that’s how it is perceived. But honestly now I have  been  through it so I know that its only life threatening  if not diagnosed at the right time and in this way I was the fortunate one. Fortunately or unfortunately I don’t know what shall I consider it but my maternal aunts had already been through breast cancer and myself being a doctor I had the fair idea that if it exists hereditary increases your probability manifold. Taking off from job and rushing to Chandigarh was the first thing I did. Meanwhile my father had already searched famous oncologists of the town and what will be further line of treatment if it comes positive. He was all ready with his homework in my 3hours of journey to Chandigarh.

I reached, everybody acted so calm and peaceful. I too behaved like nothing has happened. But             we all could pretend for just few minutes or may be an hour. Afterwards everybody busted out in tears and those were the half hour tears that gave us strength to endure next 6 months journey.

The tests as expected were positive. My friends kept assuring me that it will be only lump or only benign and u may not require chemotherapies n will not have any hair loss and all. May be 6th sense or whatsoever but I already knew this. Even I was prepared for the worst but my tears could not stop. I cried nonstop and now picture of me without hair was flashing in front of me. What is the stage? what will be the line of treatment and worst of all if I will die, all was flashing together in my head. Through my dad’s homework and even from other reliable sources and survivors we were told to visit Ivy hospital to meet Dr. Jatin sarin as he is the most renowned oncologist of the town. We went to him with the test reports he had asked to get done.

Now the storm was already there and we either cry everyday for the mental pain or have to face it strongly. We chose latter and I am glad we did that as it made it easier to go through the process. Six months of treatment of chemotherapies, surgery and radiotherapy went really well with the support of my family, friends and doctors. It was indeed the testing time but I really got to know of the people who really care. I was lucky in that aspect with all the support around. Chemotherapies were hard to take, with legs, knees, body aches all the time. Some or the other infections despite of maximum precautions.  It gives me shivers to think of that all again. 1st was really bad with vomiting, loose motions all night and complete hair loss. I I know only know how I managed to pass that night, waited for morning finally and called Dr. Jatin at 6am. I have serious apprehensions of calling doctors at wrong hours but he was as humble and polite as he could. In the beginning of treatment I was 54kgs of weight but by end of chemotherapies only I turned into a hefty 68kgs person. I looked more like a “golgappa” now, with heavy body shape, round chubby face and and no hair and instead scarf or dupatta over the head.  But my parents and friends kept assuring me that I will be same again.

Next step was the surgery. Breast conservative surgery was chosen as I was unmarried and 28yrs of age. Removal of breast was nightmare for me. Thank god and thanks to the technology I didn’t have to face it. The correct guidance by the doctors surely does wonders.

Dr. Vijay Bansal did the surgery  and he was another sweet and humble doctor. Afterwards J  45 days of radiotherapy and then the treatment was over.  Tests were done and was delighted to know that the storm is over.

No doubt I faced it bravely but still there are days when the flashbacks of the past comes in front of my  eyes and shakes me up. The fear of recurrence lives a life with you but then I have to intentionally pacify myself assuring that life is indeed best and gives us only what we can endure.  I am always admired by the people around for the strength I showed during that time and now I more than anything I value health in life.  We spent our complete childhood listening to “Health is wealth quote”. The real value comes up only when one becomes sick.

Indeed it was tough journey but I was lucky to have support of almighty, my family, friends and my doctors.

I can never thank them enough to help me get through it easily. 

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